you know those (rare) times when you feel uneasy or a little wary about someone or a relationship (romantic, friendly, anything) for reasons you can’t really put your finger on, but you know it’ll start to eat at you if you don’t get it out there, and so you instigate a conversation and it turns out to be the most wonderful thing and you’re both on exactly the same page and you end up talking about hierarchy of relationships, power dynamics, paths diverging and converging in entropic ways, feeling good in the present, honesty, being real, etc. and you leave feeling so, so, soooo good? i am constantly amazed by this person, never have i encountered someone so real
i feel like my experiences at oberlin (romantically, i mean, and i also recognize that i am not guiltless here) were often of people who’d wax queer theory and purportedly subscribe to notions of loving many people at once, etc. but then when it actually came down to it, couldn’t practice that or refused to, at least in ways that weren’t just reinforcements of heteronormative/patriarchal structures. and in my own experience it’s taken loads of very active, very intentional unlearning and work to reroute my thinking and conceptions of what love might be and how to interact with people (and i am — obviously — still learning and working, it is not over), and it is so nice to bump into for even this short while someone who is there, too, in that same conceptual/real space.
ramblinggggg, making any sense? this one is for me

i haven’t read the book, but a friend shared this review with me yesterday — said it reminded him of me and how i’ve been feeling the past couple months (or longer) since working a series of retail or retail-related jobs. and he’s right — which isn’t any revolutionary discovery or anything, i was aware of the way i’ve been feeling and why, but it’s reassuring to see it written like this. just wrote out my timeline for the next month, and it looks like i’ll be quitting (putting in notice) in 10 days, moving to austin by the 24th if not before … feeling SO FULL

bullfarm:

moonmilked:

I am moving to Austin with a favorite person (hopefully people ??? hello bullfarm) so soon and i cannot even handle the excitement … gonna just die

this is so real and so good
visited our new home town this weekend and it felt like home
here we go what is life

BBQ AND TACOS ALL DAY ERRYDAY

"In real mourning, it is the “test of reality” which shows me that the loved object has ceased to exist. In amorous mourning, the object is neither dead nor remote. It is I who decide that its image must die (and I may go so far as to hide this death from it). As long as this strange mourning lasts, I will therefore have to undergo two contradictory miseries: to suffer from the fact that the other is present (continuing, in spite of himself, to wound me) and to suffer from the fact that the other is dead (dead at least as I loved him). Thus I am wretched (an old habit) over a telephone call which does not come, but I must remind myself at the same time that this silence, in any case, is insignificant, since I have decided to get over any such concern: it was merely an aspect of the amorous image that it was to telephone me; once this image is gone, the telephone, whether it rings or not, resumes its trivial existence.
(Isn’t the most sensitive point of this mourning the fact that I must lose a language — the amorous language? No more “I love you’s.”)"
- Roland Barthes, A Lover’s Discourse
austriandominions:

some real shit from okayballoon

austriandominions:

some real shit from okayballoon

skechin

skechin

(Source: empresszoysia, via in----bloom)

suffire:

Eve Fowler

suffire:

Eve Fowler


Edipo re (Oedipus Rex), Pier Paolo Pasolini, 1967

Edipo re (Oedipus Rex), Pier Paolo Pasolini, 1967

(Source: saloandseverine, via 00550)


speak to me low

"Books are finite, sexual encounters are finite, but the desire to read and to fuck is infinite; it surpasses our own deaths, our fears, our hopes for peace."
- Roberto Bolaño

i’ve had a lot of weird/bleh gas station interactions lately … been given all this free shit (which makes me feel uncomfortable and i am running out of close gas stations to go to), but yesterday this guy followed me down the beer aisle which is always a bad sign, except he was really nice and we just talked for a minute about his mom and he recited a sonnet to me which felt just nice, not creepy, which is so unusual


(Source: haidaspicciare, via jeancoltrane)

in——bloom:

Velvet

in——bloom:

Velvet

(Source: mitchryan)

cannot believe i am only now reading Barthes’ “A Lover’s Discourse” … holy fucccckkkk

though really i suppose it is most appropriate now — feeling so good, so full

“no one wants to speak of love unless it is for someone”

ok i will stop, but

"Or again: the world and I are not interested in the same thing; and to my misfortune, this divided thing is myself; I am not interested (Werther says) in my mind; you are not interested in my heart."
- Roland Barthes, A Lover’s Discourse
+